For the past four years I have been reading, writing and learning about kindness. This led to the founding of KindFest – an online festival to celebrate and inspire kindness which has been held around the time of World Kindness Day (13th November) for the past 2 years.
In the run up to this year’s KindFest (11th November) I am sharing the five things university staff need to know about kindness and its super-powers. If you are keen to explore how kindness can make you happier and healthier and more effective and resilient, these are the five things you need to know.
1. Kindness is universal.
Kindness is universal. It appears in all faiths and all languages.
In South Africa kindness is ‘ubuntu’ – a philosophy made famous by Nelson Mandela and Desmond Tutu but it’s much older than they are. Ubuntu is an idea that’s common to many of the cultures of southern Africa. In Zimbabwe it’s called Unhu, in Malawi it’s Umunthu. It translates as, ‘I am because we are’. It is a philosophy that encourages the sharing of resources and taking care of each other. In Japan it’s Omotenashi. Often poorly translated as hospitality, but it’s more than that. It means anticipating the needs of others.
Kindness is common to all faiths from Buddhism to Zoroastrianism. Each faith reminds us that we are all connected and guides us to treat others with kindness. It’s even in our word for children – kinder, and family, kin and those like us, kindred.
We might try and intellectualise it by using words such as ‘compassion’ and ‘empathy’ but there is nothing quite as simple and easily understood as kindness. Research has shown that, whilst people of all ages and educational backgrounds define compassion differently, they all had a very common clear understanding of kindness. So let’s not shy away from the word, kind. Let’s embrace it.
Given its universality we can use kindness to frame and explain our policies on inclusion, equality, diversity, behaviour and ethics. Ultimately a kind university will embrace diversity and kindness can help bring us together as we live, work and learn.
2. Kindness is good for our health
Kindness induces a shedload of chemicals that we really need to combat ill-health and the effects of stress and ageing.
Experiencing and giving kindness both release oxytocin – the compassion hormone. Oxytocin reduces inflammation in the cardiovascular system. It also mops up free radicals that lead to oxidative stress. And it turns down the amygdala – our fight or flight centre – i.e. it calms anxiety. Oh, and it’s also needed to help stem cells to regenerate.
Kindness leads to increases in dopamine and serotonin – these are messengers for positive emotions – they help reduce anxiety and combat depression. And it releases endorphins – a natural high.
So, it’s healthy for you to be kind and healthy for those who you are kind too.
Given the incidences in stress, anxiety and sickness – amongst staff and students, it is possible that a hearty healthy dose of kindness could be crucial to our wellbeing at home and university.
An interesting research study looked at the effects of writing a thank you letter to someone who had never been properly thanked for their kindness. Those who wrote the letters had increased happiness and the benefits lasted for more than a month. When was the last time you handwrote a thank you note to a friend, family member, colleague or a student?
3. Kindness is contagious
One of the major superpowers of kindness is that not only is it good for you but it’s also contagious… or as my younger son once put it, ‘it’s sticky’.
Research has shown that those who witness kindness had the same feelings as those who had acted kindly, and they had a desire to emulate the acts they had seen because they felt ‘elevated’. Elevation leads to motivation to act – it causes the ripple effect. Ripple effects have been well studied – one act by one person can ripple out to 64 people. One teacher or student’s kindness can reach 64 students….
We also know that we can do things to increase the chances of people being kind. A study at Princeton showed that when people are rushed they are less able to be kind. So if you rush or push others to rush, then everyone is less likely to be kind.
Just as kindness is contagious, so is unkindness – we can create environments where people are more or less likely to be kind to one another. Unkind or snappy words (spoken, texted or emailed) can cause several more people to speak unkindly and be snappy – unkindness can ripple around your home or university. We can choose to spread kindness or unkindness each day.
4. Kindness connects us
So kindness is universal, healthy and contagious. Most importantly in these challenging times where people are often stressed, anxious, lonely and divided, kindness is the connective tissue that our society and our schools need.
We are working harder and receiving more ‘communication’ than ever before but we are feeling less connected and lonelier. Our mental health is suffering and so is that of our children. We urgently need kindness to reconnect us.
We value kindness more than ever because it affirms something fundamental in our human condition – our need for and appreciation of connection with fellow humans. Kindness is built into our very DNA, it’s what helped us to thrive as a species and build complex societies. Kindness frees us from self-involvement and lets us feel part of something larger.
5. Ask the super-power question
There is a simple question that we can ask ourselves and ask others when we don’t know what to do or when things have gone wrong. This question guides us back from looking inwards at ourselves to looking outwards at others – it reconnects us in powerful ways. It’s a simple but super-powered question “what is the kind thing to do?’
If we want to be the best teachers and colleagues we can be we would do well to ask ourselves this question daily to help us prioritise and decide how to handle the myriad of challenges we face. It’s also a powerful question to teach students to ask themselves; I wish I had known the power of this question at a younger age, it would have helped me to face the world with confidence and positivity.
Five simple things to remember and bring to your work (and home!). Kindness can be your super-power – it can connect you to those around you, help you to stay healthy and guide you through difficult times by connecting you to others. You can choose kindness each day.
If you would like to learn more about kindness get your free tickets to #KindFest2022 for you, your colleagues and your students by emailing susiehills@teamkind.org.uk with the name of your University. KindFest is live from 1-7pm on Friday 11th November with recordings available to watch for 1 month. The programme is online at www.teamkind.org.uk.
